Thinking of it, The young, the old, the now , is one of the rare few decent post that I produce since decades.

The young, the old, the now

I came home with no pictures from my trip to Japan with the school last year. My travel mates asked me why I didn’t bring a camera, or even with a camera function on my mobile, why I didn’t bother with taking pictures. There are quite a few answers to that. Firstly, the camera at home is kind of screwed, there’s no point in bringing it. Secondly, I credit myself of a quite excellent memory of certain things. Things that left very deep impression on me, things that mark certain really specific points of my life and things that make me feel – be it happy or sad. So it wasn’t necessary for me to insist on getting a camera or borrowing one or even to take pictures. I remember it all.

 I remember exactly how my sister would throw tantrums and wallow aloud every single morning before my parents leave home for work. And that was when I was about 2-3 years old.

I remember how I conquered another girl in class to become the leader of my gang (haha). I remember the performances we watched. I remember the anxiousness I had while discussing with the monitor at the back of the classroom as to whether if we should stop our classmates from chatting while the teacher is away to get something. I remember how the games room look like.

I remember how I colluded with my chinese teacher to get her liquid away all the “parents signature” stamp signs on my 听写(spelling) book in primary school. Well I was scoring terribly then and didn’t dare to have my Mom sign it. Actually, even till now, writing chinese characters still pose as a difficulty. But, yes I can read and converse fluently. I remember how I got myself and some others in trouble by instructing them to not issue this consent form for our field trip to this notorious student when the form teacher was away. It was quite a big trouble actually, the parent of the student came to school and to make a big fuss out of it with my teacher. I was sent to the principal’s room with the others for that. Well, I think I handled the crisis pretty well and managed to talk my way out of the problem. Awesome much, haha.

I remember a lot of things that happened in secondary school. But most of it are things that made me really upset. Happiest days of my entire education journey was when I was in secondary one and two. Worked really hard and ace my results. Yeah, I do read the irony myself. Erm well to be specific, as I progressed in ranks it became increasingly difficult for me. Ranks in band. Not because of the increasing responsibility, but because of the increasing emotional hurdle that I have to get myself to leap across. I’m really bad in standing board jump, haha.   

And I remember exactly how the Japan trip went. Even without pictures, everything is still vividly in my mind. Yes, pictures are memory reference but it comes with no additional feelings attached. You can look at a picture and vaguely recall of the happenings. But I can sit on my own and recall with images fresh in my head, attached with the emotions I felt back then.

And now I’m gonna sound really contradicting.

Although I credit myself for an excellent memory, but I realise that there I things that I don’t remember. Things that perhaps didn’t left a deep enough impression on me to make me remember.

I visited my Aunt last Saturday and she brought out a recording back from 12 years ago when I was 7 years old. In that recording, it recorded things that I don’t remember or recall doing. Things that were pretty interesting and reflective.

It was just a normal recording of my cousin’s one year old birthday party. It recorded mostly on kids playing around. A really funny yet embarrassing video and I made several interesting observation.

I was bossy back then, and still so right now. Even as we were playing, I was instructing everyone to do so in a certain fashion that I believe is good. One hand was placed on my hip, the other one pointing straight out, eyebrows crossed and I was raising my voice at everyone to get them to cooperate. And it was untimely caught on tape. I was only 7 then.  

I sing back then and I still sing right now. All the kids in the party had their little showtime in front of the camera singing. Mine seems to be the longest, or perhaps I chose to sing a reeeeaaaally long song back then for more time on tape (man, if I did, I regret it like hell now. tell you why later.). I still enjoy singing very much now, and I do so especially in the showers. So if my neighbours were to hate me, the reason is very obvious. Sometimes I shower at really late timings. Imagine them sleeping and awaken by my loud shrieking voice. Haha.

I adore bowing and still so right now. After every single performance, be it individual or as I group, I’ll bow. And I still do even till now, in a smaller motion. But I don’t just bow to anyone. There’s a criteria to it. But I’m not here to share.

Well some things really don’t change huh. And that’s something I can no longer deny about the power of technology. If not for that recording, I guess I wouldn’t have made this much of a discovery.

That’s quite a bit of contradiction throughout the whole post and I do not know if I manage well enough to express it in the way I find less so. Hopefully it isn’t too bad.

As to whether I would embrace technology and start snaping I’m still not quite sure about that. It’s not that easy to replace something that has been so handy to you – my memory. One thing is for sure, hopefully I would get started soon enough and have enough of pictures for keep sake. No doubt, they still come with no feelings attached but I can’t guarantee to myself that my memory wouldn’t fail me someday.

They say pictures speak a thousand words don’t they? 

And why do I regret for all that taping moments? My aunt is really enthusiastic about posting the video on Facebook. I can already imagine the humiliation. :(